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#SeyiSpeaks: What to Do When You’re the Single Friend

If you’re reading this post, you’re probably the single friend, If you’re in your late 20s (like I am), there are most people around you who are probably either:
• Married
• Engaged
• Dating and on the road to being engaged
And it can feel, overwhelming. Overwhelming af. Yep, I said it. Especially with Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. There’s this very very slight form of anxiety once I get around people who are in super committed relationships. I can’t help to think about my own situation and why I’m not in one myself. I start to go down the list of all the things I have to offer, why I’m a good catch, etc. Trust me girl, I get it. I think I’ve probably gone through about 50-leven scenarios in my head where I somehow meet the man of my dreams and he sweeps me off my feet and we live happily ever after…sue me!
So while you are trying your best to keep a “positive can do attitude” regarding this area in your life, here are a couple more tactics I’ve been taking to make sure that I am good:
• Become cool with your friends S/O:You feel a bit less intrusive when you are able to connect with the S/O outside of acknowledging that they are “_ Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband)”. When you’re actually able to have a conversation without needing your friend around, it’s almost like you’re talking to the homie. And if y’all vibe, they are a part of the family now!
• Express genuine excitement with their relationship: Instead of thinking, “wish that was me”, I challenge myself to take “me” out of the equation and just be happy for them when they are telling me stories or sharing their experiences with me. You don’t want to be that friend that is a debbie downer when it comes to relationship talk, because it may push that friend away.

• Stay busy-ish: To the point where you’re not spending the better part of your day thinking about your future relationship. The moment I find myself pondering into the abyss is usually when I am doing absolutely nothing. Fill your time with things you enjoy doing. For me, that’s creating content. When I’m in the zone, the only thing I’m thinking about is my content and that’s it. It brings me joy.
• Commune with other single friends:It’s ok to not choose to always want to be around your friend when they are with their significant other. Sometimes, it can have you feeling like a third wheel, no matter how cool y’all all are. What are your other single friends up to?? This is a great time to establish solid friendships with others.

• Live your best life: Don’t take this season for granted. This is one of the few moments in your life where you can focus solely on yourself! You can travel, switch careers, etc. without having to think about how your decisions impact someone so close to you. This is the time to understand who you are and what it is that you really want. This is you time.
I would also like to note that, waiting for a partner and desiring a partner are not mutually exclusive. You can wait while still having the desire to be with someone. Again, it’s just a matter of HOW you are waiting.
And that’s it! These are active steps I take in order to stop myself from getting into what I like to call, “single worry”.
Until next time…

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